Jan 18, 2018
My Grandmother would be 117 years old today
… I am grateful for the fond memories and life-lessons
My maternal grandmother, my mentor, my friend, passed away on 18 Jan 1987. Of course, she’s well and alive in my heart, always guiding me with her wisdom. There’s something wonderful about growing up with a grandparent. I did not know my maternal grandfather who had passed before I was born, but I grew up listening to stories about his generosity, kindness, and a huge heart.
I barely knew my paternal grandparents, since my father abandoned my Mom just two months before I was born and moved to the USA and settled down there.
My Grandmother is remembered by all the lives she touched as the most hospitable and generous person. I grew up in a joint family comprising my grandmother, the head of the household, uncles, and aunts. I have fond memories of a house that was always full of family members and houseguests. Friends and relatives who visited from out of town always took it for granted that we would host them — it didn’t matter if it was for a day or six months. Why, I even remember “guests” who stayed with us and finished three-year courses. Even friends who were posted in our town on work were welcome to stay with us until they found their own place.
If someone in the family was expecting a baby, my grandma would readily volunteer to look after her and nurse her back to health. No one ever visited us and left without a meal, or two. Her big heart and serene demeanor touched lives outside the family as well, and she was always keen to help people in our area.
And the best thing? No reciprocation was expected. She was simply kind and generous.
Give without remembering, receive without forgetting
One of my most heartwarming memories of those days revolves around my school, the same one my Mom and her cousins had studied in. I even had the same teachers who taught her. Interestingly, when I started school, mom joined there as a teacher. Naturally, the teachers were already old friends by now. We lived nearby and in any emergency, our house was the go-to place.
My grandma was always the one with the answers. When someone fell sick, they rushed to our house. If they got hurt, they came home. If there was an event that finished late, they stayed over at our place. If they had a party at their home, my grandma would offer to share the cooking and pack goodies to take to their place.
I remember, for my birthday, all these teachers would get together, buy lace, satin, and other material for my special frock and sew it for me. They were all so involved in our family that the love was almost tangible. They adored my grandma. They participated in all our festivals. When it was Christmas, they would all bring us cakes and other delicious things they had made. During Diwali, my grandma made sure she got them new clothes just as she did for the rest of the family.
My grandma was a spiritual person, but did not draw religious boundaries and treated everyone with love and kindness. She always advised us to do things for others without expecting anything in return and showed us by example.
I don’t ever recall her getting angry — and she also had this policy:
Don’t have anything nice to say? say nothing. Why hurt someone with your words?
Oh, I could just go on and on.
Here is a tribute I wrote to my grandmother that includes some solid life lessons she taught me.
We meet people who influence us, molding us into the persons we become, but for me, my grandmother and mother are at the top of that list.
Today, as I bask in wonderful memories, I feel intense gratitude that I was blessed with strong women in my life.
May their tribe increase.
Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles ❤ Did you smile today?
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